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Submitted on
March 27, 2011
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I'm becoming obsolete. My heart is falling into abeyance. I'm crumbling into ruin.
I want him. Give him back to me.
I can't accept his death.
I can't tolerate it.
I can't condone it.
I can't look after the past and cry either, I need to... forget.
I hate listening to 'Penny Lane' without seeing his smiling face near me - feeling his arms wrapping up around my neck, his eyes closing and our lips barely touching.
I can't walk by the sea without missing his hand in mine, I can't live on my own. I can't afford to properly live on my own, I would be dying anyway. Now or later, what does it change? I don't care about suffering. I would have taken any pain if it was bound to be with him. Now I'm alone. I'm all alone. The last, the only one. And I'm becoming more and more obsolete. My body is on auction, my mind mortgaged.

            
    My heart in abeyance.

                             
    My heart in abeyance.

                                              
    My heart in abeyance.


My death would be wrongful, people would ask "oh, why?". That's a true fact. Why would I commit suicide since I can have all the girls I want, being rich and famous as I am? Fuckers. All the more I'm supposed to be the happiest of men because of all that shit.

At least that's what they think I am.
And I am happy.
Actually I was.

The only thing that could make me happy died two days ago.
Really... If only I could just disappear from the world's eyes, I would feel so relieved. Nobody would ask where the fuck I am, what happened to me, why nobody has ever heard about Ryan Ross' death.

I can scarcely feel my body resting on the bed, somewhere in the world. My hair is dripping wet, water penetrating the pillow I've got under my head. Actually I'm soaking wet. To the skin. I'm not naked, but I feel like I am. I can see my belt undone, my bracelets tingling my wrists, my shirt opened on my pale chest, and all I can figure is that I'm cold and that he would be perfect if he was on top of me, covering my body with the shadow of his warmth, entwining his legs with my skinny ones.

He hugs the frustrating printed picture instead of a real man made of flesh and bones.

My shabby clothes are creasing.
I feel like it's been a while that I'm laying on that cheap, too soft mattress.
I don't know how the world went and goes outdoors.
If it goes without me, then it's better.
I don't think a lot of people miss me that much anyway.

My body remains still while my mind is floating away in the whole room. I keep my eyes glued to the ceiling. Weird to say that, but I feel like I'm a soul too alive in a withered body, worn by thoughts. A soul wandering in a body doomed to wilt. Like, a ghost? I bet it sounds ridiculous.
Well, here's the first fic I submit. It's called 'The Ghost By Your Side' and it is Rydon, of course :meow:
First part then. (even if I'd rather say Prologue) :D

Next part there : [link]

Title inspired by that song [link] by Lovedrug.

"If you dive into the ocean then I, will be the wave around you tonight, and if you're sinking then oh, it's alright...
'cause I will be the ghost who is at your side."


Please tell me if you notice any mistakes! (FAIL :p)
~I unfortunately don't own our dear Ryan Ross.
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:iconryanurie:
RyanUrie Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is like the highlight of my Rydon fanfic life :D I love it sooo much!! :love:
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:iconrydenveins:
RydenVeins Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Wow. For real, I didn't know I could inspire you that much, ha :D
Thanks a bunch for comment & faves, dear :heart:
:iconryanurie::iconlemmeglompyou2plz: -> this is me.
Reply
:iconryanurie:
RyanUrie Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome! It was amazing :heart:

Lol.
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:iconirunfree:
irunfree Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
oh, man. this is amazing :) really good!
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:iconrydenveins:
RydenVeins Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Well thank you very much! :D I really appreciate this comment since it's from a good writer (by that I mean you :meow:)
Reply
:iconirunfree:
irunfree Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2011
no prob. (an thanks :D)
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:iconhitsuxichixnaru:
hitsuxichixnaru Featured By Owner May 13, 2011  Hobbyist
how dare he die on Brendon? ): this is so beautifully written and sad please write more (:
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:iconrydenveins:
RydenVeins Featured By Owner May 14, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Well sad Ryan is sad :3
I'm working on it but I couldn't finish it because I had some exams these days... I promise you I will as soon as possible (:
Thank you very much for the comment and for all the faves, it is much appreciated! I'm glad you enjoyed my fics, I do my best not to make too many mistakes ^^
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:iconhitsuxichixnaru:
hitsuxichixnaru Featured By Owner May 20, 2011  Hobbyist
you deserve it your fics are too... see now i can't describe it well enough =P (: btw hope you did well in those exams and look forward to them (:
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:iconrydenveins:
RydenVeins Featured By Owner May 21, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Yep I think I did well :D
I could work more on them now, that one is already almost finished (:
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